Foals in April
by llxxRawr its Beansxxll
Summary: Based on 'Fools in April'. I own nothing.


Gummy the Alligator sleeps in his bed on this momentous day for his owner, Pinkie Pie.

Pinkie: Wake up, Gummy.

He awakes with a start, but shows no emotion on his face as he opens his eyes.

Pinkie: We're moving today!

Blink.

Pinkie: That's right! We're leaving home! We're going to become peasants!

She puts on a hat and a mustache.

Pinkie: No more food.

She takes Gummy's bowl of cupcakes away and replaces them with green, steaming vegetables.

Pinkie: Sorry, Gummy. Peasants only eat Brussels sprouts.

Gummy sniffs the green stuff and opens his mouth in disgust. Pinkie can barely contain her giggling as Gummy coughs from the awful smell of the vegetable.

Pinkie: April Foals! There ya' go, pal!

She fills his bowl full of fresh cupcakes, which he eats.

Pinkie: Whew, I'm thirsty!

She trots to the refrigerator and picks out an oversized pitcher filled with lemonade.

Pinkie: (male voice) This is an extreme thirst!

She then fills numerous tiny glasses with lemonade, even being precarious enough as to put tiny umbrellas in all of them.

Pinkie: Whew, I'm exhausted. I sure can't wait to drink all these drinks…April Foals!

She holds up a mirror and looks into her reflection.

Pinkie: …to me. Hahahahahahahahha! Hahahahahahahahahah!

Pinkie bounces out into the streets of Ponyville to do whatever she does all day. Rainbow Dash awakes from her peaceful nap on a cloud due to Pinkie's giggling.

Rainbow: What's she so happy about?

She looks on her iPhone and notices the date at the top.

Rainbow: APRIL FIRST?! AAAAAAH! April Foals is Pinkie's favorite holiday!

She puts a wet washcloth on her head and dials Twilight's number on her phone.

Rainbow: Sorry, Twilight, I can't hang out with you today. I caught something terrible.

Twilight: What'd you catch?

Rainbow: I caught sight of the calendar.

Pinkie whispers to Twilight over her shoulder, just out of reach of the phone's hearing capacity.

Twilight: Oh, hold on, Rainbow Dash, there's somepony here to see you. She says she's from the Wonderbolts, and she wants to honor you by letting you into her group.

She dashes from the cloud at supersonic speed and bursts through the door of the library. Twilight and Pinkie just happen to be waiting on her.

Rainbow: Oh, my gosh, Spitfire I'm your biggest fan I can't believe-

Twilight and Pinkie snicker at Rainbow Dash's obliviousness.

Rainbow: What's so funny? Where's Spitfire?

Their laughing turns more audible.

Twilight: You just missed her.

Pinkie: Yeah…but she told us to tell you…

Her announcement is interrupted by more snickering.

Rainbow: Tell me what?!

Pinkie: (whispering) She told me to tell you…April Foals.

She turns around and heads for the door.

Rainbow: Well, it's been nice. Thanks for everything, Twilight.

Pinkie: Dashie, wait!

Rainbow: If you need me, don't come looking for me.

Pinkie: Wait, Rainbow Dash!

She grabs one of her hind legs and hangs onto it.

Pinkie: It was just a joke! No more jokes on you today, I promise!

Rainbow: You do?

Pinkie: Sure. There are lots of other willing participants. Right, Twilight?

Twilight sits down at her desk, but a farting sound emits beneath her from an expertly placed whoopee cushion.

Pinkie: Hahahahahahahha!

Rainbow: Well, as long as it's not me.

She heads off into the library and into the adventure section.

Pinkie walks by and sees Granny Smith browsing through the selection of books on agriculture.

Granny Smith: 'Scuse me, could ya' tell me where the Farmer's Almanac is?

Pinkie senses an opportunity and points to a spot on the shelf.

Pinkie: It's right here, Granny Smith.

Granny Smith: But…this is last year's.

She can't hold it in any longer and bursts out the answer.

Pinkie: APRIL FOALS!

Granny Smith: Oh…Hehe.

Pinkie: Hahahahahahahahahahahahha!

Rainbow Dash glares at Pinkie, and she escapes to another aisle.

A customer walks up to the counter, and Pinkie appears to help her.

Pinkie: Welcome to the Ponyville Public Library. How may I help you?

Lyra: Yeah, I'd like to check out 'A Study of Humans' and 'The Earth Theorem'.

Pinkie: Hey, what's that?

Lyra turns around, giving Pinkie the chance to draw a smiley face on a piece of paper and tape it to the back of her head.

Lyra: Well, I didn't see anything. Hey, where'd that other girl go?

Pinkie swishes around, grinning wider than ever.

Pinkie: APRIL FOALS! I'm right here!

Lyra: Hehehehehe. Hey, that was pretty good.

Pinkie: Hahahahahahahahahahahahah!

Rainbow Dash looks up from her Daring Do book because of Pinkie's laughter.

Rainbow: Uh, Pinkie. What are you doing behind the counter?

She gallops away, as Rainbow Dash has noticed her.

Cut to Pinkie reading a party magazine when a colt comes up to her and asks for assistance.

Doctor Whooves: Excuse me, can you get me 'Time Travel: Volume 2', please?

Pinkie: Sure! 'Time Travel: Volume 2' coming right up!

She hands him his book, and he skims through the introduction. As he continues to read further, Pinkie giggles louder, but by the time he gets to chapter 1, she is gasping for breath, she is laughing so hard.

Pinkie: April Foals!

Doctor Whooves grabs her by the mane.

Doctor Whooves: What did you do to my book?!

Pinkie: I…hehe, I…Hahaha!

Doctor Whooves: YOU WHAT?!

Pinkie: You asked for 'Time Travel: Volume 2', and I gave you Volume 1! Hahahahahah!

Doctor Whooves: I guess that is pretty humorous. Hehehe.

Pinkie laughs so hard and so sporadically that, eventually, her tongue falls out. Her tongue has a face, and she just laughs with it.

Rainbow Dash tries her best to block out the noise with Kleenex stuffed in her ears.

Pinkie: Hey, your shoe's untied!

Her tongue looks down.

Pinkie: APRIL FOALS! You're not wearing shoes! Hahahahahahahahahhaha!

They both laugh, and then share in a hug. Pinkie grabs a megaphone and laughs into it with the tongue, rousing customers around the library. Rainbow Dash just sits hunched over her book and tries to ignore the noise.

Pinkie: APRIL FOALS!

Rainbow: THAT DOES IT! Pinkie and her stupid pranks. I'm gonna show her what a real prank is all about!

Rainbow Dash just finishes setting up the prank of the century. She places a cupcake in the middle of a circle of rope and flies over to Pinkie Pie, still recovering from her outburst of laughing. She taps her friend on the shoulder and points to the trap.

Pinkie: Oh, boy! A cupcake!

She stands in the middle of the circle and munches on the cupcake. Rainbow Dash grabs a pair of scissors and prepares to cut the rope.

Rainbow: APRIL FOALS!

The rope tightens around Pinkie's hind leg and sends her flying.

Pinkie: WHOOOOOOOAAAAAAAA!

It sends her into a bag of flour, which makes Rainbow Dash laugh.

The prank is not over yet, as she is sent circling and screaming around a support beam.

Pinkie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

She smashes into a wall. A vein in Rainbow Dash's head is showing, she is laughing so hard.

Everypony except Rainbow Dash: Oh, no.

Pinkie: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

She is sent smashing into an obese pony's flank. Rainbow Dash puts on pom-poms and jumps in the air while laughing.

Next, she goes into the ceiling and comes crashing down to the ground.

Rainbow: Don't worry, Pinkie, I'll catch you!

Instead of safely landing in Rainbow Dash's forelegs, she lands in a garbage can set by her.

Rainbow: Whoops.

She turns the garbage can upside-down and dumps Pinkie out, who is now shaped like a cylinder.

Rainbow: April Foals, Sausage Pie! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The pink pony whimpers, then gallops out of the library, crying hysterically.

Rainbow: Pinkie! I was just kidding! Come on!

Everypony stares daggers at her.

Rainbow: You all know I was kidding…right?

Lyra: Aw, man…Poor kid.

Granny Smith: That mare has definitely got some issues tah work out.

They all leave the store in anger.

Doctor Whooves: April Foals, bitch.

Rainbow: Wait! Don't go!

Random Colt: Hey, YOU STINK!

Rainbow: Wait, wait, it was a joke!

She looks around and groans at all the Pinkie-shaped imprints on the walls and on the fat pony's flank.

Rainbow: Why is it whenever I'm having fun, it's wrong? I didn't mean to make her cry. I guess this means I'd better tell Pinkie I'm sorr-eaccch!

She makes a hilarious face as an unknown force stops her from saying 'sorry'.

Rainbow: Huh? I guess this means I'd better apolo-gii

She chokes herself to prevent her from saying 'apologize'.

Rainbow: This is gonna be tougher than I thought.

Cut to Rainbow Dash flying up the stairs to Pinkie's room at Sugarcube Corner. She knocks on the door and waits for a response from her friend.

Rainbow: Pinkie! Uh, Pinkie, come out! I've got something to tell you…Pinkie?

From a window, she notices a pink cotton candy mane behind a bush, digging something. She opens the window and flies out to talk to Pinkie.

Rainbow: Uh, I was thinking about today and, uh…and it just seems that I may owe you some sort of…This isn't something I normally do, so listen carefully, Pinkie, because I'm about to tell you that I am…

She looks over to the mare digging and realizes that it is Derpy wearing a pink wig.

Rainbow: Derpy? What are you doing here?

Derpy: Digging.

Rainbow: Why are you wearing that hat?

Derpy: I dunno.

She takes off the wig and throws it offscreen.

Rainbow: Where's Pinkie Pie?

Derpy: She's in her room. She's impressed.

Rainbow: With what?

Derpy: I dunno, but it must've been pretty good to make her cry like that.

She shivers, then flies back through the window.

Rainbow: Pinkie! Pinkie, let me in there!

She tries to open it, but Pinkie's hoof slides through the bottom of the door and somehow magically takes the doorknob away.

Rainbow Dash flies off and comes back with a French horn.

Rainbow: Pinkie Pie, you'd better let me in there! I don't wanna have to use this!

She plays the brass instrument very badly and off-key. After a few seconds of this, Pinkie opens the door a crack.

Pinkie: (sadly) What do you want?

Rainbow: Pinkie, I just wanted to say that I'm solllllll…

Her cheeks puff up and her tongue sticks out before she can say the full word.

Pinkie: What?

Rainbow: I'm trying to say that I'm…

Her face transforms into that of some animal and brays like a donkey.

Pinkie: (annoyed) What?!

She has opened the door fully by now.

Rainbow: I'm just trying to say…that I'm…

Her head explodes in a fiery explosion. When the smoke clears, we see her head split into many pieces.

Rainbow: There's gotta be an easier way to do this.

Later, an uninjured Rainbow Dash grabs a pen in her mouth and scribbles on a piece of paper. Then, she puts it in a bottle, seals it with a cork, and rolls it over to Pinkie.

Rainbow: Well, aren't you gonna open it?

Pinkie: I can't. I don't have a bottle opener.

Rainbow: GRR!

She hands Pinkie a can with a cord attached to it, then flies far down the road with another can in her hoof attached with the same cord.

Rainbow: Pinkie Pie, I'm…

She whispers into the can, but when she leans her ear in, she can only hear a strange noise.

She uses her binoculars to spot Derpy using the cord to floss her teeth. In anger, Rainbow Dash throws the binoculars on the ground, then heads back to Sugarcube Corner.

Rainbow: Pinkie, all I am trying to say is that I am…

She takes a bubble wand, dips it in some bubble soap, and blows a bubble. She takes the soapy sphere and puts it on her head like a helmet.

Rainbow: _(muffled) …sorry._

She grins and pops the bubble.

Rainbow: There you go.

Pinkie: But I didn't-

Rainbow slams the door in her face.

Rainbow: I don't care. I said it. My conscience is clear.

She exits back out the window, but on her way to her house, she encounters an image of Derpy's head floating in mid-air.

_Derpy: It must've been pretty good to make her cry like that._

She proceeds slowly on, creeped out by the image. Then, an image of Doctor Whooves appears.

_Doctor Whooves: April Foals, bitch._

She flies as fast as she can, but then encounters a familiar image to her.

_YOU STINK!_

Rainbow: Mom?!

She can't take any more guilt and flies back to Pinkie's.

Rainbow: Alright, alright! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I admit it, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you! In fact, I like you! I like being your friend, I like your party cannons in the day and your high-pitched giggling at night! I also like Gummy, Derpy, Applejack, Twilight, and all the other ponies and other creatures in Ponyville! And, and, and…

She opens the door slightly.

Pinkie: Dashie…Is that all true?

Rainbow: Yes, Pinkie. Yes, it's all true.

Pinkie: Even the part about the lima beans and the car chase?

Rainbow: What the…? Yes, whatever! But you have to promise not to tell anypony!

Pinkie: I promise.

Rainbow: Really?

She opens the door all the way, revealing all the citizens of Ponyville in her apartment.

Everypony: APRIL FOALS!

Rainbow's eye twitches, but she has a slight grin on her face.

Rainbow: APRIL FOALS! YOU'RE RIGHT! APRIL FOALS! I JUST FOALED YOU ALL! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

She flies back to her house, still laughing her guts out.

Pinkie: What would we do without Rainbow Dash?


End file.
